Anxiety Is Not a Weakness: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You

We don't give anxiety its due. 
Anxiety is treated like a weakness. A flaw. 
Something we could repair if we tried harder. 

If we were smarter. 
If we prayed more. 
If we had better self control. 
If we were more organized. 

Anxiety is a signal. 
And signals ALWAYS try to tell you something.

Here's the simple version. 
Your nervous system has one job. 
That job is to protect you. 
When it finds something that looks like danger, it makes your heart beat faster. 
It tightens your chest. 
It focuses your mind. 
And it prepares you to take action. 
This is helpful when there really IS danger.

The problem is that your nervous system doesn't always know the difference between a present day danger and a past danger. 
Your nervous system knows patterns. 
So even if you're sitting comfortably in your living room and nothing appears to be happening, your nervous system may respond to you in the same way it responded to a scary experience you had 10 years ago. 

Or when your family lost everything. 
Or when you failed an important test that was supposed to determine your entire future. 
the signal isn't lying to you. 
It's just out of date. 
Or it's reacting to a larger issue than what's in front of you right now.

Why do we try to shut off the signal? 
Because being anxious hurts, and we've grown up in a culture that doesn't teach us how to deal with discomfort. 
So we medicate. 
Not always with pills. 
But most often with work. 
Church activities. 
Endless scrolling. 
Alcohol. 
Food. 
Sex. 

Relationships that keep you so busy that you can avoid ever meeting yourself alone in your quiet time. 
These are painkillers. 
They don't answer the questions your anxiety is asking. 
They simply mute the volume of the questioning.

What is your anxiety asking you?

In my experience working with clients, the answers typically look something like these:

• What am I avoiding?

• What truth am I afraid to express?

• What relationship is taking up more space in my life than it deserves?

• Where am I headed with my life that feels wrong to me on some level?

• What am I allowing myself to tolerate that I shouldn’t?

• What am I pretending to desire that I actually do not?

Often times, your anxiety is literally the voice of your own conscience trying to get your attention, and the longer you ignore it, the LOUDER IT WILL GET.

This has different implications depending on where you grew up.

Many of us were taught growing up to “toughen up.” “be strong,” “don’t complain,” etc...

Those values are wonderful when they’re balanced with other tools for dealing with feelings.

However, when those values are the only tools you have, then your nervous system will run out of memory at some point.

You’ll continue to store painful experiences in your body because you’re not allowed to verbalize them.

Then your body will start telling your story for you.

Tight chest. 
Sleep issues. 
Panic attacks that come out of no-where. 
Low grade fear/anticipation that haunts you throughout each day and into bedtime.

So what do you do instead?

First, stop fighting the signal.

When anxiety arrives, don’t automatically try to quell it or rationalize it.

Slow down.

Put a hand on your chest.

Breathe deeply.

Let it hang around for a bit before trying to fix it.

You aren’t in immediate danger because you’re feeling something.

Feelings move when you allow them to move; they stay when you won’t allow them to leave.

second, figure out what your anxiety is asking.

Is this about today’s circumstances, or is this about something from the past that today touched?

Are there decisions you’ve avoided making?

Conversations you haven’t had yet?

Parts of your life that exist based on lies you hope won’t crumble?

You don’t have to answer all of this at once.

Even partially being honest is beneficial.

If this resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Professional support can help you understand and respond to these signals more effectively.